Fast and Slow

It's funny how time can simultaneously feel fast and slow. On one hand, Gretchen and I have done a lot in the last couple months. We moved to Austin, reconnected with old friends, set up our apartment, celebrated the holidays, and begun settling into a new lifestyle with a new purpose. On the other hand, a lot of lingering questions we've had for the last few years remain stuck in our heads without resolution. Is Austin home-home, or just where we need to be for now? Are there career opportunities here for me? When are we supposed to feel comfortable with our current situation? It seems like despite the fact that a lot changes on the outside, it isn't much different on the inside. Why is that?

Gretchen and I started taking a class at our church for perspective adoption/foster parents. The goal of the program is to help us understand what adoption is all about, what the potential challenges are, and how to view everything from the lens of the gospel. Part of understanding how to parent is understanding ourselves. Every one of us is affected by the events in our life, and sometimes those experiences in the past shape our view of the future. For example, when I was a little kid I watched the movie Arachnaphobia. If you haven't seen it, it's a cheesy movie about a mutant species of spider that takes over a small town by biting and killing everyone. A spider jumps from the ceiling and bites a woman in the shower. Another descends from a lamp shade just as an old man goes to turn it off. A guy put on his slippers - yep, the spiders were waiting for him. As a child, this freaked me out. Nowhere was safe. Suddenly every little house spider I saw was a poisonous killing machine focused on my destruction... at least to me. That was over 20 years ago. Since then, I've seen the movie again, and laugh at how ridiculous it is. But you know what, I still check under the covers of my bed before I get in it. A movie I watched as a child affects my behavior today. Our past shapes the way we see the future.

The other day Gretchen and I started talking about all those unanswered questions that are still on our minds. We're concerned about our circumstances, our mission, and whether or not we even want to do what we're doing. In a way, it makes sense. Gretchen and I have moved 6 times in less than 4 years. Most of that time we haven't had consistent employment, and every move brought with it the necessity to start over. Remember what it felt like being a freshman in high school, when everything was new? That how we feel, except every 6-9 months. When you spend enough time feeling like you don't know what's going on, you start believing that you don't know what you're doing. Nothing kills ambition more than uncertainty. If you don't know where you're going, you don't know which direction to face. Eventually, you forget where you trying to go in the first place, and never get there. The root of our questions is a result of our past shaping our view of the future.

So what do we do about it? We can't deny how we feel, but we also can't move forward if we're carrying so much uncertainty about our direction. For now, we are allowing ourselves to break the starting-over cycle we've been in, hoping there will be more clarity when the fog of uncertainty has lifted. We're praying that Austin works out from a career perspective, because otherwise we'll be forced to move. In terms of adopting, we recognize that until our life settles down, we can't seriously consider it. There just isn't enough stability in our life to accomodate kids at the moment, so in the meantime, we're doing everything we can to lay a solid foundation for the future.

Later this month Gretchen and I are starting a new community group with a pair of couples who are either fostering kids now, or plan to in a few months. We're excited to have an outlet to help families care for their kids, and we're recruiting some friends to get certified to babysit for them. We're almost done with the paperwork to get certified ourselves (there's a lot to do), and we're continuing our adoption class through our church. Even though kids are a ways off for us, we're still finding ways to stay involved, and that will have to do for now. Until next time...

-Steve

Adopted: A Sermon Series

At the end of October, our church (The Austin Stone Community Church) did a three-week sermon series on adoption. At that time they also expressed their heart for Orphan Care Ministry and the launch of the Foster Care Initiative. Let's just say it was a pretty incredible time to be a part of what God is doing through the local church. 

Before the sermon series kicked off, Matt Carter, Pastor of Preaching and Vision, wrote this letter to prepare the hearts of the church...

Dear Church,

I want to write a quick note to you about our upcoming sermon series “Adopted.” It’s a three-week sermon series where we are going to focus on our adoption as sons and daughters of our great King and the implication that adoption has on our everyday lives.

God laid it on the heart of our elders to preach on this subject in 2009, and after three years of preparation and prayer, we feel like it is time to move forward. Our hope through this series is two-fold.

Our first hope is that you as a Christian would walk away from our time understanding your salvation better than you ever have in your life.  I know that in my preparation to preach, I have found myself in tears at the deep realization that I can call the King of kings and the Lord of lords “Daddy.” Our hope is that even if you have been a believer for years, tears would come to your eyes as you realize that you have been adopted by the greatest Father in the universe.

Our second hope is that in light of your adoption, you would be given a heart of compassion toward someone that God cares a great deal about: the orphan.  Church, the call to engage in the plight of the orphan is crystal clear in scripture, and make no mistake, God has made this calling clear to us. 

As I write this letter, there are over 7000 people actively attending the Austin Stone Community Church.  Stop for just a second and dream about the impact we, along with our many partner churches, could have in Austin, the United States, and around the world with regard to the plight of the orphan.  Are you dreaming big?  I am.

Please join me in prayer about what God wants to do in and through us in the coming days.  I’m so excited to be on this journey with you.

To Him Be The Glory,

Matt

Did that get you excited? It sure did for Steve and I! We would like to share those three sermons with you, and our hope is that you too would see and understand your own adoption into God's family as well as God's heart for the orphan and the call on the church! 

Sermon 1. Adopted: Rescued by Love

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Sermon 2. Adopted: Rescued to Love

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Sermon 3. Adopted: The Cost of Love

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-Gretchen

My Heart Grew Three Sizes That Day!

Over the Thanksgiving holiday I watched one of my all time favorite Christmas movies, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". One of the many reasons I love this holiday classic is because of it's endearing storyline. For those who need a bit of a recap of what I'm talking about let me fill you in. 

The Grinch, a bitter, grouchy, cave-dwelling creature with a heart "two sizes too small", lives on snowy Mount Crumpit, just north of Whoville, home of the merry and warm-hearted Whos. His only companion is his faithful dog, Max. From his perch high atop Mount Crumpit, the Grinch can hear the noisy Christmas festivities that take place in Whoville. Annoyed and unable to understand the Whos' happiness, he makes plans to descend on the town and deprive them of their Christmas presents, Roast Beast, Who-hash and decorations and thus "prevent Christmas from coming." However, he learns in the end that despite his success in taking away all the Christmas presents and decorations from the Whos, Christmas comes just the same. He then realizes that Christmas is more than just gifts and presents. Touched by this, his heart grows three sizes larger; he returns all the presents and trimmings and is warmly welcomed into the community of the Whos.

You see, the Grich had a predisposed idea of what he thought Christmas was all about until he had a "wake up call" and then saw it through the lens of what it really was all about. Just like me, I had a predisposed idea of what I thought adoption was all about until I had my own "wake up call", or as I like to say "when my heart grew three sizes in one day". In my case I did not need to hijack a holiday or steal someones roast beast to be put straight. I needed God, or "The Holy Spirit", to reveal to me His heart for adoption through the lens of the Gospel - and one day He did just that!

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In a previous post found here my husband Steve mentioned that I heard an adoption story from one of our church's staff members while I was interning there that opened my eyes to adoption. That's true, and now it's a part of my story that I would like to also share with you. I hope this video from Michael and Kimberley Stewart will bless you and grow your heart as it did mine. 

If you'd like to follow the Stewart's story further you can follow there blog here.

-Gretchen

Let's Go Back To The Start

Hi everyone. We're Steve and Grethen Smith, and this blog is dedicated to documenting our journey through the foster/adoption process. In addition, we want this to be a resource for others who may be interested in learning more about fostering and adopting, so from time to time we'll link to insightful and interesting related material we come across. We're excited to be on this adventure, and want to invite you to share in our story. So let's go back to the start...

Yay Marriage!

Gretchen and I were married 5 years ago, but had no immediate plans to start a family. We had only known each other 6 months before we were married, so the thought of having kids seemed like a distant reality. We both wanted kids, we just didn't want them anytime soon. As we talked about our future family over the next few years, we imagined having a boy and a girl naturally, then eventually adopting once our kids were a little older. It seemed like a good plan. At that point, adopting to us was a good and noble thing to do, but it was something that happens after your regular family was established.

The Austin Stone St. John Campus 

In 2010 we moved to Austin, Texas and started attending the The Austin Stone Community Church. The more we plugged into the church community and learned about the staff, the more we were hearing about adoption. Some people were adopting internationally from Haiti. Other people were pursuing domestic adoptions. It was great to hear stories of people adopting, but we didn't know why it was so prevalent throughout the church.

Then one day Gretchen heard one of the staff members talk about the gospel through the lens of adoption. He compared the way God chose us and pursued us to become part of his family with the process of adopting. To adopt is to love and accept a child that otherwise would not be loved or accepted. The neglected or unwanted child can't change his or her situation - it's what they were born into. In the same way, we were all born into a world separated from the love of God, but He made a way through Jesus' death and resurrection for us to be restored. After hearing this, the idea of adoption became more profound and inspiring to us. Instead of seeing it as just something that was good and admirable, we saw adoption as a real-life illustration of the gospel.

Yes. We've moved a lot.

Over the next two years, Gretchen and I moved from Austin to Los Angeles, then to Washington State, and then to the Dallas area for a few months before we decided where to plant ourselves. Our preferred destination was the San Francisco bay area. Even though we had never spent much time there, the allure of moderate weather, beautiful scenery, incredible wine, and plenty of job opportunities seemed irresistible. We just needed the excuse of a job offer to justify starting over in a new city.

While we were waiting for the illusive job, Gretchen and I attended an adoption conference in Dallas to learn more about how to adopt. We were considering the idea of adoption as the primary way to grow our family, but didn't know where to start. One of the central themes of the conference was that to be successful in raising adopted children, you need a community around you that understands the unique challenges that adoption brings, and is willing to help you overcome them. Immediately we thought of our church in Austin. We have a supportive community there, and the church is invested in educating its people about what adoption looks like. Suddenly, San Francisco wasn't where we wanted to be.

Glad to be back!

It's been just over a week that we moved back to Austin. This time it feels different, though in many ways it's the same as it was two years ago. The difference is Gretchen and I have a clear mission to grow our family through the foster/adoption process, and we see the city as a place where we can demonstrate God's love for us by loving the unloved child. We don't have the weather, scenery, wine, or jobs, but we do have the resources, support and motivation to do something that will literally change a person's life forever. And that is the reason we're on this journey. Welcome to our adoption story.

-Steve